I have heard that often the 5th day of the adoptoin trip is equal to the 5th day post-partum. I remember being a mess with both my girls right around that time. And I was a mess today.
A Mess.
It's been hard.
Her institution delays are big. And a wee bit overwhelming.
Days of dealing with food issues. She needs to eat everything she sees, including if we pass someone & she sees their food. She doesn't understand she can't have it..and we have fits.
She won't go in the stroller, she won't go in anything or near anything new. The medical & any subsquent medical care she needs- could be very interesting.
Can't brush her teeth. Can't comb her hair. She hits me if I try and starts screaming. She doesn't like to be told no. (course, neither do Becca and Sarah). She screams. Pitches a fit.
She has to constantly carry all the toys she can handle in her hands.
Bedtime still is hard. Cries. Self-soothing. Rocking. Hitting her leg. Pushes me away. I don't know what to do... so I just lay next to her while she does it.
The hotel rooms is getting suffocating. We have no support- our guide sucks so bad.
We are all tired and worn. And I know she's scared... and grieving... and it's just been a hard day as it all hits.
I can't wait to get to the next leg of our trip where there will be more adoptive parents & support. I'm tried of being stared at, pointed at....
Many, many sobs from both of us today (poor Daddy). We had regression at nap again. (we had a good night last night).
I don't know. It's just tough. This will pass, right?
Right.
Anyways- not many pictures today. Just didn't have it in me....
But we got one, as we collected her 'red book' which is the official adoption decree.
We spent the morning here. And then the notary office where our guide ditched us to go eat lunch. Seriously. He did. And an angry official was looking for him with our papers and we didn't have a clue where he walked off to.
Then we had lunch at the notary building. The first real meal I might have eaten here. It was good- noodles.
Then to the police station where we filed for her passport. This is the last thing we wait for before we can leave Beijing. It will be ready Friday.
She refused to sit for her passport picture. So they made a copy of some other picture they had.
We came back and she had a nap- hard crying before it.
And we've just stayed in the room since then...
Tomorrow will be another day. This too shall pass.....
And so it goes.....
Hugs to both my girls as they start school. I would give so much to be there. I miss you both so, so much!
Hard Day. Sigh........
Ohhhhh, hang in there!!! It does get better. I PROMISE!!! Our Ben was also from BCWI #1 and exhibited a LOT of the same behaviors. He did finally take to the stroller after a few days - thankfully because he was a chunk! Same obsession with food and tantrums and folding towels and not wanting teeth brushed and carrying every single item with him at all times and wanting every bottle of water - whether his or not. He was STUBBORN and the fits were often and LOUD and LONG. There were great moments...but sadly, most of our time in China was with a child not adjusting well. He bonded but OH MY. The fits were like nothing I had ever seen. I was sad. I felt helpless. I was scared. A very wise mom in Guangzhou on a Heritage Tour saw us struggling with our tantrum child at breakfast (when he had to wait for us to get the food from the buffet) and she stopped and said, "It will be so different once you're home. Trust me."....and she was right!!!! It was tough for a few months, I won't lie. But, it will get better. Our Benny is the sweetest, most loving, funniest, precious little guy EVER!!!!! HANG IN THERE!!!!! Smile and try to relax. I know it's hard. Be silly. Do whatever makes her smile and don't beat yourself up. This too shall pass!!! She is precious!!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole!
ReplyDeletePraying for you all. It will get easier!
--Lynne
Hi Nicole,
ReplyDeleteHope everything will get better. I've sent you an email to comcast.net. Please let me know if I can help you with anything.