Eleven Months

One month away from a full year of being in our family.  My, how time flies.....

11 months ago.........

To spunk in messy pigtails.  Cute as ever in her beloved 'Rainbow shirt & skirt'

Today was hot & she was not into a lot of pictures after her long day at summer camp.   She told me on  the way to our fence (all 20 yards from our front door) "It too hot.  No Pictures Today.  Tomowwow.'  

Tough noogies girl - today is picture day for you. 

Eleven Months of Charlieness.   Eleven months of family.   Oh look, my belly button.......

Growing.  Height wise, hair wise, belly wise.   Growing personality wise.  Growing gross motor skill wise & cognitive wise... and small motor skills....  making up for those lost 4 years of sheer neglect.

Just this month she drew her first 'person' complete with large head, large eyes, smile & stick arms and legs attached to space and not the body.  Perfect in every way because 11 months ago, this girl didn't even KNOW what a crayon was, let alone how to draw or color with one.   I remember handing her a crayon in Beijing and watching her stare at it thinking 'what in the world is this?'.   Now she's drawing people......... and sun's........and doggies..........

11 months ago she didn't even speak Chinese.  Except a few random words.   Today, she never (like EVER) is quiet.  She went from no Chinese to attempting conversations (appropriately), answering questions, and speaking in 4-5 word sentences.    This month she learned the proper way to say Hi.  Before it was always "Hi Charlie" to everyone.  Now she put the right person in the exclamation.. .like "Hi Mama",  "Hi Becca"... etc..

 She sings now.   She shows preference for songs.  Just this month she'll hear a song on and exclaim "I like this song".     She also had us cracking up just this weekend when we were talking in the car about Sarah being in trouble.  Charlie piped up with "Sarah is in trouble, trouble' (in the tone of the Taylor Swift song "trouble") We laughed so hard.......

Oh, she likes to try to get her sister Sarah in trouble.  A lot.  Those two fight... a lot.  And Charlie is JUST as guilty as Sarah.    She doesn't fight with Becca- rather idolizes her biggest sister.   Loves her Becca......

We've read lots of "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" this month.  She reads it with me- the parts she's memorized.  She also checked out her first library book this month- a birthday cake book (she is SO excited about her birthday..so..so..so!!!) She had that memorized as well.

Her birthday is just around the corner- FINALLY.  She has waited so, so long.  She told me just tonight... "Charlie open presents.  Charlie get lots of Princess cards and envelopes".  I said yes.  And she added "And baggies".  For those of you coming, don't waste money on gifts.  Ziplocs, papers & envelopes are just fine!   Throw in princess stickers and she'll be happy as a clam.

This month, the little girl who was terrified of grass.... went tubing.  And loved it.  She also went fishing.  And loved it.  And picked out her very first 'yellow' (of course, FAVORITE color) 'bacation shirt'.  (that's vacation shirt).   Oh, and had her first fudge.  Yup- loved it!

Favorite summer activity is swimming.  She loves it.  Asks every day "I go swimmin' Ok? Yes."   "I go baby pool". 

Nights are getting better.   I think.  (I don't want to curse it).  I think she MAY be starting to feel secure enough even at night to be OK. 

We had a China reunion this past weekend.  She did OK.  I think it must have triggered a bit of unconscious memories as she kinda shut down & didn't really interact with anyone outside of sticking like glue to her sisters Becca & Sarah.   We also had some fits & whatnot in there.... not sure if that's it.. or it was just overtiredness...or what. 

Routine is important to her.  She tells me every day what we are to do next.  I go downstairs eat muffins and ju box.  (juice box).  Mama clean glasses.   Mama drive to school.  Mama go to work.  Eat munch.  (lunch).   After nap, daddy come get you.   We go through the narrative every day.

Girl loves to shop. Like loves.  Just today while making a return at Kohl's she informed me "I lub Princess shoes" as she stared at the pink light up Princess sneakers.   It's hard to resist it... folks.  I did on these (because they were clunky) but she still made it out with a new shirt & dress.  

Attachment- eh, I'd say we are about 70% still.  It varies day to day.   Somedays it's more.  Somedays it's not.   She's still learning.  And so are we.  We'll get there.  Maybe not today, or tomorrow.. or this month or next... but we will.  We've come so far from where we were just 11 months ago.  

She's got daddy wrapped around her fingers.  He's putty in her hands especially when she says "I lub you" and then giggles.   

We've come far, this girl & us.   11 months in.  She's amazing.  And we are lucky she's ours.  We lub you Char Char.

 

Ten Months

Again, I say it- I can't believe we are at another month mark.  Soon, we will reach our one year anniversary.  How quickly the time is going.....

10 months ago today... we met this little girl:

Honestly, I look back at those pictures & see this shell of a little scared girl- a baby...really... who doesn't even resemble the girl who's getting so big in front of me today...

Oh little girl- how you are growing!!!  And how your personality is blooming......

What a gift it is for us to be the ones who get to discover it along with you. 

Truly this girl brings smiles and laughs and joy into every room she walks in.   This tough little girl, who endured more than any of us could ever imagine is the one spreading happiness where she goes.  From the clerks that work the YMCA front desk where she goes to school (she bursts in every morning with a great big GOOD MORNING at the top of her lungs to them- without fail), the big "Hi Charlie" she says as she rushes up to her favorite teacher Ms. Nancy (she says Hi Charlie as her standard greeting.  We are working on it...........).   To the neighbors we meet as we take our walks to the hugs, cuddles & giggles we get in our nightly routine.   This girl radiates joy.    Even when she's whining - it passes quickly..and smiles are soon back. 

 

Today we wore our Cubs shirt for our picture shoot.  It was actually dirty and we dug it out of the hamper.  This is because this is Charlie's FAVORITE shirt.   If it's clean and in her drawer, she's wearing it.  She loves it even more when Mommy and Daddy wear their Cub shirts with her.  If you see her in it, make sure you comment about it.  Because she loves to talk about her Cubs shirt as well.   Cubs rule & she knows it..



Speaking of clothes- every single night before bed she must be the one in charge of picking out her outfit.  Remember that girl who never spoke a word of opinion because she didn't know what one was?  Not anymore!!!  No way.  Every night.. "Pick a what I wear tomowow" (that's how she says it). She likes her skirts.  And her favorite shirts- which are Cubs, Rainbow & Nemo currently.  She doesn't like socks (NO SOCKIES) and would wear flip flops every second of every day if we let her. 

As summer has approached, she is finding a new love.  The outdoor swimming pool.  Oh, this girl LOVES to swim.  "I go baby pool, okay?" She likes the baby pool where she can stand.   Fine with momma.  I just plop my rear right next to her in the shallow water that is most likely filled with a lot of pee water.  Woo.  Love baby pools.  :)

She definitely likes to boss.  If we tell her she can't do something, she makes SURE that her sisters are not doing it either.  And will tell them to stop.  This goes for ANYTHING.  Wearing flip flops, drinking juice boxes, being quiet.   Anything.  Fairness must abound. 

(This is her squinty eye "I'm not really sure what this is" look). 

Speaking of fairness.  Girl has learned the art of getting her sister in trouble.  Things like screaming "Sissy stop" like she's being hurt only sissy is NOWHERE near her.  Yup, she's learning what it's like to be baby sister & how to make it work.  Middle sissy isn't so happy with these happenings.  "Why won't no one believe me, I wasn't even near her.. it's not FAIR just because she's cute............."

Baby girl is cute, isn't she?  Cutest China born girl out there (Totally objective, I know.. no offense to mama's of Chinese born girls).  :)

Big happenings this month?  Well the one that is sticking out to me is she started singing randomly songs.   Like Rain Rain Go Away.  Or Fall Out Boys songs.  You know, she doesn't discriminate music taste.   The fact that these songs are being retained in her brain is GOOD- it means her flight/fight/freeze response that was ever present is lessening and she's learning to relax & let her brain grow.......... And there is NOTHING cuter than hearing a little bit of "rain rain go away" mixed with "Light it up..up..up... Light it up..up..up" being sung in the back seat............

Vocab continues to expand.  Proper use of language is growing.  Sentences are getting longer.  We are getting there... slow and stead wins the race, right?  

Play is still fragmented. We've had a bit more of imaginative play.  Pet shops playing with each other.  A wax dino from the Field Museum came roaring up to me today several times and tried to bite me.....  followed by adorably cute giggles as momma said... "Oh no, he got me".   She went to her first big movie in summer camp.  Teachers said she did ok.  She watched a Shark 3D movie (don't judge) and made some appropriate comments while watching it... 

When we go out, she's learning more & being part of where we are, instead of just 'surviving'.  She's interacting with her world.   And soaking it up.    And loving it.  She loves, loves, loves, loves to be outside. 

Oh, don't get me wrong- we still have stuff to work on.  She had four years of neglect and trauma.  It doesn't heal overnight.  Eye contact is still not great.  She physically gets tense with too much forced closeness.  I try to sing to her at night while cradling her & she's stiff as a board.  Still.   She still rocks at night with night terrors.  She still prefers to self-sooth the majority of the time instead of looking/reaching for us.  (although she's getting SO MUCH BETTER about telling us things hurt or crying when she hurts herself).  She still darts her eyes & grinds her teeth & fidgets all around.  She can't stand to be talked to in a stern voice.  It really upsets her.  She has problems with impulse touch like touching things as she says "No touching".... this is a problem with things like hot soup bowls, ect....  She still likes papers & hoarding & baggies....  Attachment is still being worked on.  She likes to triangulate now (very common in orphanage children). 

But really, these things that used to dominate our lives- are almost glossed over when they happen because so much good happens too!  The pendulum has shifted..........

I love this picture.  Why?  Oh, because it shows she's CLEARLY from my side of the family. Genetics, schmenetics..... you can be born in China and still have the family belly & double chin!!!  Love it. :)

She's so super doper excited for her birthday- she can barely stand it.  It's a daily discussion at our house.   "Soon, Charlie's birthday"  "A Princess Party" "Brown" (she likes the color brown).  "With Baggies" (yes, she wants a brown princess party with baggies.. so what? like you never wanted that?) She has informed us it will be a big party "Mama, Big party.. Soon.  With baggies".   

10 months.  Girl continues to grow, as do her parents..... we love spending the summer with her as we unfold new adventures (she went camping last week, climbed some sand dunes (not a fan of sand), went on her first boat ride, & had Italian Ice (No like it- she declared!))  So does everything with trust and gusto.  This, the little girl who was scared of grass 10 months ago.  I love it.  She's so brave & awesome.. and so darn CUTE.

We are so lucky.

Happy 10 months Char-Char..

(cutest piggy tails ever? yes, I think so!)

Nine Months

I honestly can not believe it's been 9 months.   How fast we are approaching the one year mark! Time flies when you are having fun..............

From this...............

To this.............

Look at that hair!  Little girl hair!!!! 

It's hard to measure progress month to month now.  I find I don't remember what's new compared to last month or what's improved.  The changes are there, they are just more gradual to us. 

Things like speech, which I do believe is getting clearer, but is it because we are used to hearing her speak and can decipher?  I don't know.   I choose to believe she's getting clearer.  I think she is.

She's speaking in more complex sentences.  We still have pretty far to go with that but we are loads above where we were just a few months ago.    She pretty much has single words for everything in her world now.     She is using "I" and "We" and sometimes "You" more appropriatly.   She asks "What & "Why" a lot now.   My favorite is when she asks Why in response to something she doesn't want.. like "Time for Bed Charlie"   "Why?"  "You can't wear that tank top and only underwear to school"  "Why?"

I am going to use this paragraph to record all she says just during the time it took me to write this.  She talks a lot, fair warning....... "What did you say?".  "I don't want tacos.  I want Chicken".   "No Corn".  "Don't pull it".  "I need water".  "No, I want Apple Juice please".  (can you tell it's dinner time?).   "It not yours".  "It's  not poopy".  "It's not dinner".  "Pull hair up".  "Just leave it". "No, not done yet".   "I trying to tell you".  "Yup".  "No".  "Oh here's a baggie"  "After dinner"  "After dinner Yes Go for a walk".  "I want Apple Juice".  " I see that baggie".  "How about Daddy sit by you?"  "Shelby, Shelby"  "Daddy"  "This is garbage"  "Mama"

If we don't hear talking for more than 1 minute it means she's either 1- into something she shouldn't be or 2- asleep.   She really talks A LOT. ;)

She now prefers showers to baths.   She LOVES that it's warm enough to spend lots of time outside playing.  She loves, loves, LOVES to be outside in her shorts, short sleeve shirt & flip flops!  The less clothing, the better.  NO SOCKIES.   And "I'll come home after school and wear flip flops" every single morning!!!   She loves grass, sprinklers, hula hoops, walks, swings & finding flowers.  Yellow preferably.

Sleep.  Well.  The early sunrises are NOT our friend.  Nope, the girl rises with the sun.  And her sleeping is still really bad.  She wakes a lot.  The good news is she is getting out of bed, opening her door a crack & going back to sleep.  That seems to help self comfort vs. just rocking and chanting.  Unfortently, she's a REALLY light sleeper even with sound machines she wakes up VERY easily.

Her new favorite books are Giggle, Giggle Quack & Just me & My Dad.  Speaking of Dad- yup- he's her favorite lately.  She wants dad for everyting.  After all, daddies are more fun because they arn't the ones having to juggle everything!  I get it.. even if it stings just a little.  It's good that she's making that connection to her daddy....connections and attachment are good things!!   And she is still working on learning to do these things.

Let's talk play.  We had a biggie this month.  She had a doc appointment for her vaccination catch-up.  After that appointment she started playing 'pretend doctor' and giving me shots.  Imaginative Play- big milestone.   Woo! 

Still no TV interest.

She enjoys school & has picked up the color yellow now (identifying) which is big since it's her favorite color!   She practices counting like this.. "1,2,3,6,9,17,18,19".   Hey, it's a start.   I also caught her singing a song randomly the other day... which is a new thing.

She's remember other kids names- like Mady down the street.  This morning she saw an old juice box in the garage and informed me 'That's Mady juice box' (from the day before).  She also talks & remembers about Grandpa & Grandma.   Connections, connections..................

She loves to giggle, laugh & be tickled.  She has 4 years to make up of all that.   Eye contact is still really, really bad & I just don't know how to change that.   But again, she had 4 years of none of that.. so can't expect change overnight.  

I haven't seen a fit in forever with her.  No rocking.  No tantrums.  Whiney sometimes... but no fits. 

Girl is growing and exploring every day.  Nine months......look at this beauty.  Love her!

Happy Nine Months Char Char.

Eight Months

Here we are....it snuck up on me- the 8 month mark.  I almost forgot.

Thankfully my cousin's wife had a baby on the 16th and posts pictures every month...her post reminded me that today was eight months.

The months are flying..............

I always have to do  it... from this.......

 

To this..........



Doesn't even look like the same girl, does it?

This picture makes me laugh.  She literally wore what she had on.  Mismatched green pants & shirt.  And her most favoritest of all types of shoes- flip flops!  Only I had hid hers (because she will want to wear them ALL THE TIME even in rain, snow, ect...) so she found her sister's.  She's resourceful.

Funny thing is I said "Charlie, let's go take your picture" And she said "I want to wear necklace, okay?"

Yup, this girl LOVES her jewelry. Her philosphy- much like her "Granka's" (Grandma) is "Never leave home without it".

Making sure I notice her flip flops:

Miss Charlie took her first vacation this month since we've been home.  Aside from the first night- she did excellent.   She enjoyed all her new experiences & most especially swimming (kick, kick, kick) and wearing her beloved flip flops every. single. day.  

Her sleeping is about the same.  Her language is also about the same.   It seems to me some things are getting clearer, but maybe I am just getting used to it.  I'm not sure.   Funny story from today- apparently Ms. Marge, her pre-k teacher, had to warn the classroom parents that Charlie was NOT teaching their children a swear word....but is still learning how to say things.... and she was really telling her little friends to 'sit'.    

She learned to love showers this month.  And prefers them over to baths.  With music blaring- just like daddy showers.   Girl likes to sing in the shower. 

Speaking of singing- her favorite new song- Happy Birthday to You.   She really, really wants her birthday to come.  And her party.  She already has her theme picked out.  Princess.  She just doesn't understand why daddy and mommy & Sarah had birthdays and she hasn't..........

Every morning she likes to wear her princess dress.  When I tell her she can't wear it to school she informs me she will 'wear it after school'.  Usually with her jewelry & flip flops. 

She enjoys playing outside & going for walks.  "After dinner, go for walk".  One of her favorite phrases. 

For the girl who would fall and bang her head enough to bleed and not say a word about it.. now EVERYTHING is an owwwww, that hurts!!!  Always fun in the store when she screams it when you brush her lightly. 

She enjoys hanging with both the girls & has become more interactive with them.  Playing WITH them vs. next to them.  She really enjoys playing pet shops with them & doing her homework faithfully every single day.  She likes books & coloring (yellow is still her favorite).  But still no TV.   

She seems to be securing her place in the family a bit more by constantly referring to 'I come home' (when we go to school) or "That's Charlie's home" (when we pull into the driveway).  She's beginning to realize that home is forever & what that means.   

I have not noticed many fits this month nor any regressions of rocking or things like that.   A big thing was one day she was really upset that Sarah was going to a birthday party and she couldn't go.  She cried so hard as she dressed herself up in a princess outfit with shoes & a bow(to go to the party)...and instead of crying by herself on the floor, she buried her head into my legs and wouldn't let go.  So simple and so inherent in our kids with us since birth... but so huge in the developement of an adopted child who is learning to attach.  She is seeking comfort with other people.  Big, big..big.....

Pretty much she's sweet & saucy (more sweet) and adorable all rolled up in one cute package complete with flip flops and jewelry ON.  She lights up rooms when she enters it & she makes us all giggle and laugh.   She's a stinker.  And she's a sweetheart.  And she's all ours to love!!

Happy 8th Months Charlie Meifang!  We love you sweet pea!

Seven Months

It has been seven months.

Seven months since we met this girl for the first time...

I see very little of that girl we see above, seven months later..........

 

 



Except maybe the eye contact thing.  :)

On this cold and snowy day- we headed out for a quick photo shoot.  She picked a dress to wear today- like she always tries to do when she's allowed.   Usually she tries for the sleeveless Ariel outfit.  She's usually not successful.

We had a little bit of time where she insisted she had a 'boo boo'.  Kept pulling down her pants to point to where her underwear rested on her leg.  Her 'boo boo' is the result, it seems.. of a little girl who's belly is getting quite big & her underwear is getting quite snug.

After we dressed, we did her hair.  Hair that is long enough to put in two pigtails.  Or one pony that doesn't stick up.  Hair that looks like a little girl.  And not like an orphanage baby.   No, no more orphanage baby.  Never again an orphanage baby.  Now, OUR baby. 

We headed out & she was in a good mood.  Despite the cold.  And despite the remenants of her breakfast that mommy forgot to wipe off her face for the photo shoot.  Oh well.  Character.

And we had some great fast pictures.  Muffins on the face and all.   And then we went in and had a great day.   Together.  

I think back 7 months ago..and I am amazed how far she has come.  In the trenches, in the day to day- it seems like sometimes we have made no progress...and we are so easily frustrated.  But when you take the time to really think back.... well, the progress is huge.  And is still coming.

After last months post we had a backslide a bit.   While frustrating to live through- it's not uncommon as older adopted children forge through new emotions and attachments to have steps backwards.  And we did.   Today, at the end of this month- we seem to be moving back forward.     We had some fits return, big ones!   We had sleep regress.  We suddenly started wetting the bed at night every once in a while after not doing it at all for 6 months.   And we saw some rocking/self-soothing come back into play.

But, BUT... we had two AMAZING milestones we reached this month.  AMAZING.  The first is we moved her to a different room and got her a new bedspread.  (well, big sister's old bedspread) which had princesses on it.  That very night in her new bedroom, she agreed to sleep UNDER the blankets.  If you all recall the GIGANTIC fear of blankets she had the previous 6 months.  Panic.   And now, she is sleeping under a blanket for most of the night. 

The bigger one.  The best one ever... so far... is this girl gave me her first unprompted  "Mama, I wub you" this month.  Out of the blue & not in response to me.  So incredibly awesome!  And she does it FREQUENTLY now.   Nothing brings a smile faster to my face than hearing "Mama, I wub you". 

With a child you raise from an infant/womb- these words come naturally.  Easily.  Ingrained in their being.  With an older child, these words are words that earned.  Worked for, HARD, every hour of every day.  And so to hear them is such a sweet, sweet reward.   These children never knew love.  And to be able to feel it & express it.... it's just... WOW.   No other words.

It may be this very act that set off the regression as well.  But like they say- two steps forward, one step back.  Doing the math- we are still moving forward!!!

Cheesy grin face!

Let's see.. oh, she had her first 'shower' at home (vs a bath) and liked it.   She has eaten more new things- like zuchinni and ice-cream.    I got her to watch a wee bit of Sophia the first on TV.  She showed a bit of memory  also when she saw a neighborhood child and said "Hi Kate".  Kate is her cousin she met a whole month before.  (same age & height as little girl in neighborhood).  I was impressed.    

She still asks for me to carry her a lot and will now run to wrap herself around my legs...

I asked her how old she was.  I got this..........

Try again.

Ok.  We'll work on that.

Speaking of- she randomly counts now.  Not always in order.  For instance, today in the car she counted 1, 2, 6, 7, 10, 15, 16, 19.     Colors- we still can't seem to get red.  Maybe she can't see that color?  She gets pink though. 

We are working on small motor skills like cutting and drawing. 

Everytime one of her pictures or project makes it up in the classroom at school she shows me right away which one is hers from all of them.  She always has it right too!  She knows her work & she's proud of it. 

She is getting more confident in her surroundings, exploring more.  Taking more risks & enjoying herself more.  

We still have lots of paper hoarding & sensory seeking things (like paper crinkle & bag crinkle).  It's ok.  They are her comfort.  Things like that is probably all she had for 4 years.   She is quickly reactive to critism.. it's really hard for her to hear 'no' and not be scared or react by just dropping things.    An example she walked in the room I was painting today (her new room) and she got close to the wet paint.  I yelled 'stop'  She panic'd and jumped....right into the paint I was trying to keep her away from.  :)    Then she got quiet & had silent tears.  Mama yelled at her.  (didn't mean to, it was implulse of being near the paint).  Stuff like that....

She has moved back to her "Pig Kahuna" as favorite book.  I miss Munch.  It was shorter.  And I'm sick of surfing pigs.    We are getting ready to go to Arizona for Spring Break and I told her we were going on vacation.  Every morning she says "Mama and Charlie go on bacation"  Even though she has no idea what a 'bacation' is.  All she knows is she has new sandals ready to wear for it & she wants to go!!!! 

Eye contact is still an issue although she's getting better (so, so slowly). 

Her newest thing is declaring EVERYTHING an owie.  Also a big deal since before she wouldn't awknowledge anything as a hurt.  Now everything is..  she really likes those princess bandages. 

Language.  It's still coming along.  She chatters a lot.  She's trying out more and more sentances.  She's getting more concepts.  We still work on conversation (Who, Why, What).  We'll get there.  She gets her point across well enough. 

I have been writing down snippets of what she has been saying just in the last 10 minutes as I finish this up.  To get an idea of her 'chatter'. 

"All done" (her juice).  "Time for night night" (it is actually).  "Tissue".   "Don't touch it, I will put it up here. OK?" (her pet shops toys).  "Be careful".   "Night Night".  Humming randomly.  Laughing randomly.  "I want to sit on your lap" (as she crawls on my legs in front of my computer).   "Hi".   "Oh no, don't fall, don't fall" (as she falls through my legs).  "Be careful, oh no don't fall.. I got you".  "Swimming Pool, yhea right" (yhea, I have no idea?).  "Mama, boo boo" (Pointing to a pimple).  "Mama working" (since I'm on the computer).  "Fishes" (eating goldfish) "What color is it? (asking herself as she looks at the fish".. "Orange" (answering herself).   "This is green" (pointing to her doll house roof).   "This is my book". (holding Sarah's book).  "No Sarah" (as Sarah got too close to her pet shop pile).   "Look at it" (holding up a bag).  "Shh, Daddy sleeping" (he's not).  "What?"  "Ok".  "Charlie's baggie".  

This girl has come FAR in 7 months.  I'm so amazed by her.  And I'm so proud to call her my baby. 

Happy 7 months sweet pea!